Bad to Good 8 Stepts to Overcoming Bad Situations
I'm reposting this for a friend. Sometimes it is just a good reminder for everyday life too...
For someone who’s had a childhood full of turmoil: a mother who was using her nagging skills to wake the children up early in the morning, a father who often stays at work because he never wanted to spend another minute arguing with the almost always hysterical wife, and siblings who seem to find the slightest reason to punch each other in the face; you’d probably think this someone may have had lost her sanity and composure along the way.
Bad to Good: 8 Steps to Overcoming Bad Situations
So never a week passes without having to deal with something bad and you feel like you’re a bad luck magnet. Well life has always been that unpredictable and part of it has to deal with sudden misfortunes and problems. Now your job is to get through it and move on, detach yourself from what’s not helpful and focus on what give you a better day. Here are 8 ways to cope:
1. Free yourself of frustrations. Learn to let go of some of the negative energies inside because if you don’t you’ll probably find yourself exploding at one point. So go ahead and vent them out, get a journal, talk to a friend and release the negativity. Ventilating your frustrations will give enough room for positivity to come in; furthermore, it will give you a feeling of relief that can somehow change your mood and outlook.
2. Learn to be objective. Look into the situation carefully and detach yourself emotionally as
this can only cloud your judgment. When you learn to look at things at a more objective view, your judgments and decisions become a little more sound and wise. Emotions tend to cloud our judgement and that’s no way to resolve a conflict.
this can only cloud your judgment. When you learn to look at things at a more objective view, your judgments and decisions become a little more sound and wise. Emotions tend to cloud our judgement and that’s no way to resolve a conflict.
3. Look around you – there are people who actually care. No matter how difficult the situation is, you need to realize that some people are actually there for you and that there’s no need to detach yourself from them. Their guidance and advice can actually help you get through a bad time.
Order Emotional Detachment for a better life
4. Change your mind set. You may think that all this emotional detachment will help you overcome a difficult time; think again and assess carefully. If you are not that hurt or traumatize, there might be no need to detach yourself, a little thinking and space will help you get back on your feet. Furthermore, keep in mind that you do have a choice – either to let these bad things overwhelm you or to let these stuffs make you a better person.
5. Shift your focus. Instead of wallowing in emotional hurt and detaching yourself from people who care about you, try focusing on what you can do. You have always been faced with difficult situations but you’ve always managed to get out of it alive. What’s keeping you from doing so this time then? Being frustrated will never help resolve the problem. You need to focus on your strengths rather than your weakness.
6. Do not be afraid to ask help. You might feel that emotional detachment from other people have left you with no one; you’re wrong. Do not be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Call you closest friend or your sister, talk to someone. Asking for help is never a sign of weakness; it shows that you are brave enough to acknowledge that you cannot handle things on your own.
7. Constantly challenge yourself to overcome bad situations. Think of the countless times you’ve been faced with trials and problems which you thought you would never surpass but did. Use these moments and experiences as a source to fuel your spirit to continue fighting and winning!
8. Extract the lessons learned. Detaching yourself from people and hurtful things might be difficult but they sure did have valuable lessons for you. Take these lessons and ponder on them; they might come in handy one of these days. Most of the times, we learn to appreciate the lessons after we have conquered and battled through the fight; much like enjoying and appreciating the rainbow after the storm.
Understanding Emotional Detachment: Why You Need It
For someone who’s had a childhood full of turmoil: a mother who was using her nagging skills to wake the children up early in the morning, a father who often stays at work because he never wanted to spend another minute arguing with the almost always hysterical wife, and siblings who seem to find the slightest reason to punch each other in the face; you’d probably think this someone may have had lost her sanity and composure along the way.
But no; instead, as she grows up to be an adolescent, she finds herself at the back-most part of the lecture room with no seatmate to chitchat with. And now as she enters the world of professionals and adulthood, she seems to find it a little difficult to relate to her workmates and even find someone from the opposite sex to start in what could have been a normal intimate boy-girl relationship. She seems guarded and uptight; people brand her as someone “withdrawn” or “detached”.
For people with traumatic emotional and even physical experience, the body’s normal coping mechanism is to find an exit and get away from all the stress. Thus, emotional detachment takes place. They begin to create their very own bubble, carefully guarding it from someone who attempts to penetrate it, they become more at peace and comfortable when they keep the intimate and personal matters to themselves.
No, these people are not crazy nor psychotic. Believe it or not, they are simply protecting themselves. Emotional detachment is a necessary step to take when one’s safety is threatened. This explains the behaviour of the person who grew up in a very chaotic environment often a recipient of painful words, traumatic occurrences and even emotional abuse.
When a person detaches herself or himself from someone or something that causes negative feelings, the person thwarts the probability of going through the same thing over again. Sometimes this is necessary to keep ourselves whole and free from disturbing and distressing events or people.
However, emotional detachment often times becomes a difficult process to reverse, hence
the behaviour of the child. While it is something one can switch on and off, the process is not that easy as it involves looking into the innermost emotions of that person, and it is only that person who can decide whether or not the button stays on or off. And while emotional detachment safeguards a person from threats of emotional pain, too much of it actually can upset his or her entire life.
the behaviour of the child. While it is something one can switch on and off, the process is not that easy as it involves looking into the innermost emotions of that person, and it is only that person who can decide whether or not the button stays on or off. And while emotional detachment safeguards a person from threats of emotional pain, too much of it actually can upset his or her entire life.
We need affection, intimacy (both physical and emotional) and relationships to evolve holistically as a person, therefore omitting an aspect of our behaviour and personality such as being dull to certain emotions and failing to connect, relate and develop bonds with people could similarly threaten our psychological, social, and even social state. A person who fails to awaken from a period of emotional detachment could be staying asleep throughout his or her entire life. That person becomes withdrawn, analytical and safeguarded, causing people to stay away and back away. When all these happens, everything not-so-nice follows; the person will find it difficult to trust anybody, relationships could be a very stressful thing to achieve and even maintain, meaning, he or she will be deprived of what is supposed to be a normal person’s life.
Therefore, emotional detachment needs to be properly assessed; it is vital to know when it is needed and when it is not. Emotional detachment can be both a life saver and a life destroyer, thus, this is a very important matter that needs utmost care and consideration.
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